7 Consequences Of Having A Narcissistic Mother
Having a narcissistic mother can make us as adults unable to care for ourselves and lead us to continually seek to meet the needs of those who are narcissistic. surround us, leaving us in the background.
Our parents are an authority figure. In this way, they act as a role model and as a first contact with society. However, not all are the best example. Some can even create serious problems in our lives, such as the narcissistic mother.
Today we will talk about the consequences of having a narcissistic mother. If you have had a mother with these characteristics, it is important that you know the possible effects and take action to avoid emotional problems.
What is a narcissistic mother?
Before we talk about the effects of having a narcissistic mother, it’s important to understand what this concept involves. The first thing we need to consider is that narcissists love each other very excessively.
Therefore, they may demand too much attention from their loved ones and not much will be satisfactory.
So this level of demand may lead them and their children to achieve great results in their lives, but the emotional exhaustion will be just as severe.
1. Children of narcissistic mothers often forget their needs and wants
A narcissist is always in need of attention, is arrogant, and likes to manipulate others because they feel they deserve the best.
Translating this behavior into the context of the family, the effect of having a narcissistic mother is that children grow up with the need to please.
In this process, children do not see themselves as individuals who have their own wants and needs. In general, they have become a reflection of what their mother wants and do all the activities that are expected of them.
By achieving the imposed accomplishments and goals, their mother rewarded them and they learned to seek this affection constantly. Therefore, when they grow up, they have no awareness of their space and seek to satisfy others rather than themselves.
2. You have low self-esteem
Another effect of having a narcissistic mother is that children only get affection when she wants something from them. The problem is, they are so demanding that it is difficult to meet all expectations.
As a result, the mother will give signals or messages to her children that they are not good enough. This results in children who always feel incompetent, lacking in ability, anxious and with low self-esteem.
3. It is difficult for you to love the person you are
The fact that they don’t feel good enough makes children of narcissistic mothers find it difficult to love and accept who they are.
It’s okay for us to find things we don’t like and would like to change. However, a person with stable parents grows up with the skills to find positive aspects in themselves.
One of the effects of having a narcissistic mother is that the children of these women will have a hard time finding something they feel comfortable with.
Even if they achieve big goals or accomplish everything they set out to do, that will never be enough for them.
4. You feel more like a partner than a child
Due to the large amount of attention that this type of parent demands, their children’s lives revolve around them, their problems, their needs and their happiness.
Because of this, children become an emotional support and are involved in situations in which they should not participate. These children acquire so much responsibility that they forget that they are their children until they become more of an emotional partner.
People who have had these types of parents feel like they spend their entire lives solving problems.
While it can be positive because they have surely learned to problem-solve and be self-sufficient, they will feel a great burden and find it difficult to trust others.
5. You talk negative about yourself all the time
Having a narcissistic mother leads to constant negative messages. Because of this, children learn to speak to each other with criticisms and harmful words.
There is a mirror effect. They learn to see life like their mother and because they have received negative messages they talk to each other in the same way.
6. You learn to hide your true essence
Another effect of having a narcissistic mother is that these children learn to deny part of their essence to show what their mother expects from them. Over time, this process of denial or concealment becomes commonplace.
As adults, you may have difficulty identifying who you are, what your true desires are, and what you really want from life and from others.
7. You sabotage yourself
Having a narcissistic mother implies that you always get the message that you are not good enough. It prepares children to expect the worst version of every situation.
As they grow older, they will avoid showing their emotions in order to stay as safe as possible. For example, they will avoid falling in love so as not to be abandoned.
Of course, this creates a vicious cycle that leads to more anxiety and insecurity.
What if you have a narcissistic mother?
A relationship like this can cause intangible damage in a physical way but with great impact on your life.
If you are living with a narcissistic mother, you should seek help or advice so that you can deal with the messages received and come to live a more fulfilling life.
